Scenario One
This morning I needed a hair cut and was out on the road (walking that is) at 8.05 am. It was cold and windy. Suddenly my cell-phone went! This hasn't happened for about two weeks. My goodness, an emergency, I thought. But it was the hair-dresser:
Irene, where are you?
My goodness, she's cross. Maybe I should have been there at 8.00 and not 8.30.
On the way, don't worry!
But Irene, I told you that if I'm coming your way, I'll pick you up. Oh well, see you there!
Five minutes later, I hear a hoot and it's her.
Were you cross?
Of course not. I just wanted to save you the trouble of walking as I'm going your way.
And why did I think she was cross? Because of the rapid patter of colloquial Hebrew, interrupted by car honks and other street noises early in the morning. And because I wasn't expecting it.
Scenario Two:
I'm at the bank. One of the clerks who has lent me a skirt for the South American part of our Technion concert, asks if it fits OK. Then a new clerk introduces herself. She's young and very willing. The older one, who, despite her excellent English, was not the most helpful, has been transferred to another branch. It appears that there had been some complaints.
I speak to the bank manager, who expresses her frustration with Head Office. She wants me to teach her advanced conversational English and wants them to pay. The trouble is they want her to join Berlitz or Wall St., (where they pay teachers rock bottom wages) and she would prefer private lessons with me.
Scenario Three
Having done a bit of shopping in the supermarket next door, I'm called in by the manager of the Broadway Baigel. He explains that as they now have a great many English-speaking customers at the restaurant it's really not on that the menu is only in Hebrew, and could I possibly translate it for them.In which case, how much do I charge?
Amazing. I told him six months ago that their lack of English would not do much for business. And he agreed and did nothing about it. Now that it's become urgent, he grabs the first person he sees who knows English and Hebrew and asks them to help out. Isn't it interesting that now he thinks that it's all his idea!
So I smile sweetly and give him my contact details yet again. And think - yes, this too is Israel. It'll probably never happen!
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